


Give All My Secrets Away

by samptra



Category: The Avengers (2012), The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Angst, M/M, Minor Violence, Romance, Sexual Content, Steve Angst, Steve Has Issues, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-02
Updated: 2013-04-02
Packaged: 2017-12-07 07:05:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/745688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samptra/pseuds/samptra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Captain America had his secrets, and Tony perhaps should have left well enough alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Give All My Secrets Away

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! This little one shot sort of rolled off my head and I could resist it’s a little darker then I usually write but I do get the fluff in there, perhaps not as fluffy as usual but it’s there. Nice little smutty treat, while on I work on my others.

* * *

 

 

He really shouldn’t be doing this.

 

Not anymore.

 

Those days were long behind him now, he was in a new place and new time; he didn’t have to do this anymore.

 

Only he did.

 

Like some siren song that called to him he was powerless to resist its lure. Or a drug addiction too weak to say no and stop the madness.

           

He pulled the collar of his coat up self-consciously glanced furtively around. His face had been everywhere lately, and with the last month being so hectic, he’d been unable to slip away. Until tonight.

 

He shuddered, that familiar heady sense of anticipation prickling his skin, tickling the back of his neck. His breath drew sharper, as he spotted a likely place.

           

No one in his or her right mind would willingly walk into a place like this.

 

Pausing a moment he pulled out a small bottle splashing the contents of it over the front of his jacket. Taking a second to untucked half his shirt, mussing normally perfect hair, before taking a sip from the small bottle. Feeling the heady burn all the way to his chest.

           

Hunching forward he moved towards the entrance, shouldering doors hanging askew from the hinges, as he stumbled inside.

 

The place was dimly lit, smelling of must and mildew; it was rank, disgusting…perfect. He staggered to the bar; the grim, scarred looking bartender gave him a flat unimpressed look. “Beer,” he slurred gruffly. Collapsing onto the stool as clever eyes took in the place at a glance.

 

It was quiet tonight, only six people all told. Three older men by the front drinking together solemnly as only alcoholics could. Two more playing pool while a third looked on. That sixth man was the one he focused on.

           

Big, muscular guy, with a wicked looking scar and a mean sneer, the perfect target. His beer was unceremoniously thumped before him and he downed it quickly. Tossing a couple crumpled bills on the bar, he pushed off his perch. Making a show of sagging obviously efore righting and heading towards the restrooms. Right past the angry looking man.

           

With a well-practiced maneuver he pretended to run right into him.

 

“Watch it,” the stranger growled pushing. He staggered back a sneer twisting his lips, as man with the scar snorted, “What you looking at buddy?”

 

Standing slowly he shrugged listing, “A gorilla?” The big fist cracked him in the jaw. The sharp pain flared as his head snapped to the side, the metallic bite of blood flooding his mouth.

           

“Hey Tim, take it outside man,” the bartender continued rubbing his dirty glass unconcerned.  Suddenly hands were on him. Yells and jeers as he was hustled out the back door and into the dirty alley.

 

A hard kick to his spine sending him sprawling on the hard pavement, the unforgiving surface scraping skin from his face. The hateful words of the men coming to watch rolling off his back as he stood to face his opponent.

 

The man hit him again, and again, and again.

           

He lost count as the big, tough ‘Tim’ pummeled him. Only stopping when he lay unmoving on the ground panting, blood trickling warmly across his face.

 

“Come on Tim this guy’s a fucking pussy,” one of the friends spat board with the one sided tussle.

 

“Yeah,” Tim huffed with one final sharp kick to the drunk’s back as he and his friends disappeared back into the bar. Congratulating each other on the unfair fight.

           

The beaten figure in the alley lay prone for long moments, barely twitching. Feeling every bruise, laceration, and cut, the pain a familiar throb and ache. Slowly, carefully, he stood upright, cradling a damaged arm to his chest. This time the stagger wasn’t feigned.

 

It took him some time to get back to his parked motorcycle; he sat heavily on the bike kicking it to life he navigated back towards his new home.

           

Quietly as he could he rolled into the underground garage, silent and dark at this hour. Pulling his coat tighter he hurried into the elevator keeping his head down. Feeling as though he was some sort of criminal. His bruised face pulling in a tired, self-depicting grin as the elevator signaled his floor.

           

Not pausing until he was safely within his room he slowly stripped out of his soiled clothing. His body a canvas of mottled bruises and wounds. Hiding the bloody clothing in the hamper he lay on the bed exhaling slowly.

 

For the first time in a long while he wasn’t numb. He was feeling.

 

The pull of pain as he shifted the taste of blood, he was feeling again. His chest heaved, as he lay still staring sightlessly at the ceiling above his bed.

           

Shame burned through him them. The sting of humiliation for being so weak again. Like always he swore this would the last time. After this never again.

 

He closed his eyes slowly; he promised himself every time. Yet he already knew he would break it. Give into these dark compulsions again, a sob ripped from his throat then, bruised knuckles fisting in the covers.

 

Why couldn’t he stop?

 

Rolling to his side he curled in on himself, hugging his broad chest tightly as he shook and sobbed sorrow and agony tearing him apart.

 

Bruises ringing his eyes began to slowly disappear. Blood clotting, cuts healing, torn skin once more knitting together.

 

In another hour there would be no trace, and Steve Rogers would once again be numb. 

 

-#-#-#-

 

“Sir, Captain Rogers had returned to his room,” frowning Tony Stark looked up from his work. His armor repairs forgotten as he moved to check the time. Three in the morning.

 

“Where did you go Cap?” he mused wondering what a man from the 40’s would be doing out on the mean streets of New York in the wee hours. Not that he was going to pry. The man was entitled to his secrets, just like everyone in this crazy want to be boy band of Fury’s.

 

Despite what they all thought he didn’t have surveillance on all of them. There was of course, emergency protocols, but rarely used. Lately though he had been taking a little more interest in their fearless leader then perhaps was healthy.

           

They had started out rather rocky, but then again all his relationships usually started out that way. Almost like he was testing out the metal of people, and Steve had passed with flying colours. They had argued, fought, and saved the world. Now months later they had formed a tentative friendship of sorts. Steve outside of his duties was a completely different creature, and Tony was beginning to get glimpses of the man…not the icon. It eye opening.

 

Tony was beginning to like the man he was getting to know.

           

So it was reasonable he’d been a little worried when Steve had taken off almost three hours ago, without letting anyone know. Only to return just as mysteriously. Tony hesitated a moment longer before running a hand through dark hair.

 

It wasn’t really any business of his.

 

“Thanks JARVIS.” Making a decision there and then that he would not mention the incident. Nodding to himself he retuned to his work, a man was entitled to his secrets.

 

-#-#-#-

 

Tony’s resolve however was sorely tested in the weeks that followed.

 

Life was anything but normal at the Avengers Tower. With all the team in residence things became a chaotic whirlwind. Between missions, solo and team, there was events, press conferences, charities, even team building and hangouts.

 

Tony wasn’t used to people wanting to just be around him for the sake of his company. Pepper often said he was abrasive as hell in large doses. Yet the others took him in stride, flaws and all, and the one who was most often around him was Steve.

 

Their little friendship had deepened and widened, as more often Tony found himself sharing his space with the man. The blond sitting with him for hours quietly watching or talking as he did his own work or drew as slowly, hesitantly, they began to share their lives. Past, present, thoughts of the future…and all throughout Steve’s little nighttime rambles continued.

 

Tony could find no real pattern to them. Sometimes he’d go once a week, other times he went out every night. It was baffling, confusing…and it made the genius insanely curious. Yet he was hesitant to ask.

 

Not wanting to do anything to jeopardize the connection he had forged. For the truth of the thing was he had fallen. Fallen for Steve Rogers, not Captain America, but the shy, witty, artist who held nothing back.

           

Pepper had laughed for hours calling it karmatic justice for his past; he hadn’t been impressed. In the end though she had told him to go for it. Easier said then done. He didn’t want to fuck up the friendship, and companionship he had found. So he held his peace and his curiosity to himself.

 

Until he just couldn’t anymore.

           

“He’s leaving Sir,” JARVIS tone was one of reproach. Tony bit his lip, wondering for a heartbeat if this was a bad idea. Shaking his head he set his jaw, he was just going to make sure that Steve was safe that’s all. Hurrying out of the lab and to the car he’d left waiting on the street. Revving the engine just as Steve emerged from the underground on his bike.

           

As he gunned off into the night, Tony followed some distance behind. Growing more bewildered by the moment, as they drew further away from the Tower. Until he realized they were headed to Brooklyn. He really shouldn’t have been surprised by that one. Maybe Steve just liked to go to his old stomping ground. Seemed a reasonable assumption as he watched the big man park his bike and take off on foot.

           

Tony parked doing likewise, after all he’d come this far might as well see it through to the end.

 

Staying a respectable distance behind he followed Steve two blocks down, curious when he paused outside a seedy looking little dive bar. Just out of sight he watched as the big form fumbling with something in his pockets. What the hell was he doing?

           

Whatever it was he did it quick, lurching inside the dark place.

 

So Steve was sneaking out to bars?

 

Tony stepped out of the shadows approaching the place. It wasn’t he first choice…it probably won’t have been any choice really. Scratching his chin contemplatively he hesitated not entirely sure what Steve was doing. He knew he couldn’t get drunk, perhaps he just wanted to mellow, people watch. Tony understood that, to each their own.

 

Still…he couldn’t help feeling a little left out, Steve could have asked him to come along Tony would gladly keep him company.

           

Course if Steve asked Tony to wear a dress and dace as his USO girl he’d do that too. When the hell did he get so pathetic?

 

Sighing he stuffed his hands in his pockets, well at least he knew it was nothing too dangerous, not the best of places but the big guy could handle himself, and if he didn’t want to tell Tony then so be it.

           

Well no harm no foul, he turned to head back to his car and leave Steve to whatever it was he was doing. When a sudden commotion from the alley drew his attention. “What-” he inched around the side of the building. The narrow strip of alley dimly lit but he could still see what was happening; three men hitting a fourth.

 

Clenching his jaw he stepped in further, finally getting a glimpse of the man they were beating. He would know that form anywhere, “Steve,” the name fell in a whisper from disbelieving lips.

 

The three big guys were working him over good and Steve…he wasn’t even fighting back. He could easily flatten all three of those guys, but he did nothing to defend himself. Frozen Tony watched in a kind of stunned slow motion as Captain America was beaten.

 

When a hard right sent his head sharply to the side cracking against the wall, Tony knew he had to act. “Hey!” he yelled hurrying towards the group.

 

Surprised the men bolted but not without a parting kick to the downed man’s ribs. “Was getting pathetic anyway,” one spat heading back into the bar.

 

Ignoring them the billionaire was at Steve’s side in minute, “Jesus Steve, what happened?”  Worried dark eyes strained in the in the dark dim light of the alley. Swearing colorfully he mopped at the mess that was the man’s face.

 

“Tony?” he slurred blinking owlishly.

 

“Yeah big guy it’s me, what the hell man? Should I get my suit? Could lay down a beating.”

 

Steve was struggling upright, “What are you doing here?” he garbled, trying to shrug the dark haired man off.

 

“I umm…” he wasn’t sure what to say. Steve staggered and Tony caught him, “Shit I should get you to the hospital,” that got through to the big man.

 

“No!” he pulled away righting himself, “No I’ll be fine…all be gone tomorrow.” Painfully he began to stagger away. Tony following slowly his last words ringing in his head, it would all be gone tomorrow?

           

Hurrying to catch up he wrapped a supportive arm around the muscular waist steadying the big man. Saying nothing more as he helped Steve into the car, driving them slowly back to the Tower silent and strained. The blond resolutely looking out the window ignoring the other man completely.

 

Tony was at an utter loss.

           

For all his charm and charisma when it came down to anything more then shallow human interaction he was horribly awkward. Better at understanding the intricacies of machines then those of the human psyche.

 

Pulling into the underground garage of the Tower he cut the engine. Wanting to scream at the unbearable tension he stared at his white knuckles on the steering wheel.

           

The big man shifted beside him on the car seat, “You followed me didn’t you,” the voice was thick, sluggish, not Steve’s. Hesitantly Tony turned to face him, only Steve was still resolutely staring out the car window. Blood matted in the messy blond hair.

 

He swallowed his throat suddenly dry, “Yes.” 

           

The silence stretched on, “Now you know…” he said in a bare whisper, Tony unsure if it was directed to him or not.

 

He chewed his lips indecisive, “Steve…is this what you do when you go out late at night?” The big man stiffened tauter then the string on Clint’s bow. Still he said nothing. Tony tried again, “Why didn’t you fight back? You could have easily taken them.”

           

The genius wasn’t sure if Steve was going to bolt or break in half, he really didn’t care what he did as long as he said something. Slowly, the blond turned to face him, face so expressionless and smooth it made Tony want to scream and shake him. Only he dared not as he already looked like raw hamburger.

 

Tony’s breath caught in his chest, it took every ounce of willpower not to reach out for him. “I didn’t want to fight back, I just wanted them to-” he cut himself off jaw snapping shut with an audile click.

 

Finally he was struggling with the car handle and out of the door.

 

He should leave it let him go. Only Tony had never known when to leave well enough alone.

 

“Steve what is it? What’s wrong?” he had to run to keep up with the man’s long strides.  Able to hear teeth grinding, “Please I want to…I want to help,” he ran into the broad back as Steve stopped dead before the elevators.

 

The super soldier rounded on him then, face a mask of anger. True anger. An expression Tony had never seen on him before; it was both breath taking and terrifying. Face inches from Tony’s. The shorter man’s heart thumped wildly in his chest; sure his arc was going to fail him.

           

“What do you want to know Stark?” he snapped blue eyes flashing under the blood and grime. “That I go out at night to seedy bars…pick some big guy, get him to take be out back and beat my ass, so I can feel something? Anything even if it’s for just a few hours? Is that what you want to hear?” teeth ground harder.

 

“You know now Mr. Stark, perfect Captain America isn’t so perfect. I’m just as fucked up as you.”

           

Tony blinked in astonishment, unable to find his tongue, as Steve departed. The door of the elevator closing leaving the genius alone in the basement, head buzzing madly. He didn’t move for long moments trying to sort through what had just happened.

 

_I’m just as fucked up as you._

 

Sighing sadly he rubbed the hollow ache in his chest, trying not to take it personally. He’d poked a sleeping dragon and he’d got burned. Still it had hurt. Steve had called him Stark again; he hadn’t done that since their tenuous time on the carrier.

           

Still Steve was a friend, a very good friend, and Tony had been serious about wanting to help. Finding his resolution the genius made for his lab, mind beginning to shift into overdrive. The place booting up as he stepped in.

 

“JARVIS call up everything we have on Project Rebirth all Howard and Erskine’s files anything and everything we have.” He was moving to the far end of the room getting the coffee going.

 

“Of course sir,” the required documents began to shuffle across the screen.

 

“Hack SHIELD, get what they have too off their servers anything that even footnotes the damn project I want it here in the next five minutes.”

           

Grabbing a cup he was moving to the terminal, dark eyes darting rapidly as he began to sift through the mountain of information more pouring in.

 

Tony Stark wasn’t going to sleep tonight.

 

-#-#-#-

 

Steve awoke feeling the worst he could ever remember.

 

His wounds had healed his body once more unblemished and perfect. No, what hurt wasn’t his outside; it was inside.

 

He sat in bed sheet tangled about his hips as he stared unseeingly at the dawn light filtering through the window. Last night…oh God the things he had said to Tony.

           

He buried his head in his hands. How had this become such a mess? He’d just been so upset, his dirty little secret lay bare to the one man he hadn’t wanted to know.

 

He really didn’t want to get out of bed maybe he’d just stay here the rest of the day…the rest of the week and pretend last night never happened.

           

Swallowing thickly he shook his head, no…he had to apologize to Tony. That would go better with breakfast. “Definitely groveling goes better with food,” satisfied with his plan the big man went about his morning. Running, training, and then cleaning up before heading to the kitchen to get breakfast started.

           

About to enter he paused hearing voices from within. “He’s been down all night?” that was Clint he knew.

 

“Yeah, had the music blaring, making a hell of a noise. JARVIS wouldn’t let me in,” the other was Bruce the scientist sounding more then a little worried. Steve leaning against the wall out of sight closed his eyes banging his head back against the wood. Tony locked in the lab was never a good thing.

 

For the first time, perhaps in his life, Steve Rogers retreated.

 

-#-#-#-

 

With sure movement he put the finishing touches on his latest project, it had taken him almost two days since the confrontation in the garage. Ever since Tony had been eyeball deep in this thing. Locking everyone out, well almost everyone…if Steve had tried he would have been able to get in. Only he hadn’t.

 

Tony wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad.

           

“Sir Captain Rogers is making his way to the underground,” Tony grunted in acknowledgment.

 

It was now or never.

 

Quickly he snapped on the modified chest piece, and gauntlets feeling it power up with his arc. He didn’t wait, “Sometimes we need to run before we walk,” he mumbled taking the back way down to head the blond off.

           

He reached the basement just as the elevator doors opened. Steve stepped off looking drawn, pale, like he wanted to be doing anything else but what he was about to do. Taking a deep breath Tony strode up to the big blond.

 

Steve must have been out of it because Tony was on top of him before he realized what was happening.

 

The billionaire didn’t say a word curling a metal fist he lashed out clipping the solider in the jaw. Steve’s head snapped back, and time seemed to completely freeze. Tony with his fist still raised upright, Steve staring at him uncomprehending. Bruise already rising by his mouth, blood trickling from a split lip.

           

Slowly blue eyes focused on him sharp and intent, “Again,” he rasped. Tony exhaled a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding.

 

Hauling back he struck again. Steve staggered back, “Again,” his said. Tony complied, with a sickening realization he was beating he best friend.

 

He didn’t let up until the big man lay on the garage floor wheezing, blood dripping on the concrete surface. Panting Tony dropped to his knees beside the prone from carefully pulling the blond head into his lap.

 

Sickening guilt washing over him wondering how the hell he had managed to do something like this He ran a shaky metal hand through the blond sweat matted hair, mumbling meaningless apologies over and over again as he rocked them gently.

           

Steve finally managed to quiet him, reaching up he grabbed the trembling hand in his. “Thank you,” he mumbled slurring slightly through swelling lips. Tony leaned down resting his forehead against Steve’s staying that way for long moments.

 

Things between them unsaid, tension thick and heavy.

           

Steve was the one to finally break that fragile moment between them, “I’m sorry for those things I said, I didn’t mean them.” Tony used the corner of his dirty tank top to dab at the blood, at the edge of his mouth. Tony thought Steve looked better now, calmer, more focused, albeit bruised and battered. Less haunted.

 

“I read the files,” Tony said softly. “Everything on Project Rebirth. All of Erskine’s notes…including potential side effects of the serum.”

           

Puffy blue eyes closed a bitter smile twisting red lips, “They didn’t tell me about those things until later. Howard couldn’t help me, and with Erskine dead…” he trailed off. Tony said nothing, simply holding him close, offering him comfort on the cold floor.

 

His chest was caving in, hurting for Steve, as it had when he’d read those hand written warnings from a man over sixty-years dead.

 

_Potential for subject to have loss of, or numbed response to physical stimuli._

Under the warning there had been another note starred; _only extreme physical repose will elicit stimulus._ When he’d read that damming words the things Steve had said fell into place. Why he was doing what he did.

 

He wanted to feel something.

           

The lesser bruises were already beginning to fade, “How long?” Tony asked he knowing Steve knew what he meant.

 

“A week out of the ice…before that there was no shortage of drunken bar brawls to be involved in.” Christ he was going to cry.

           

So here he lay, his inner most secrets…his soul laid bare. Bleeding, bruised, the throb of pain a welcome change from the numbness that crept through his veins. For a brief moment in time he knew he was alive.

 

“Don’t,” Tony said hands tightening as he stared steadily into blues, “Not anymore if you need…” he trialed off releasing a hand flexing metal fingers.

           

Steve frowned searching dark eyes, but seeing only firm resolution in those depths. “Come to me instead Steve.” His voice was a bare whisper, but the super soldier felt an odd warmth settle in his chest.

 

Split lips moved slowly,  “Thank you.”

 

-#-#-#-

 

Tony Stark was not often a man conflicted. He had always known what he wanted and he went for it damn the consequences. It had perhaps gotten him in trouble more often then not, but it had also on occasion paid off.

 

He was still unsure if this one had.

           

True knowing Steve’s secret, had brought them closer. Their friendship turning into something deeper and meaningful, an indefinable, intangible thing. Tony trying vainly not to read too much into it.

 

It was growing harder by the day.

 

Some nights Steve would sit with him in the lab wistful and calm, sketching quietly or playfully arguing with him.

           

Other times he would stagger in, looking wild eyed, chest heaving as if he’d run a great distance, eyes haunted and Tony knew. Without even asking he knew. Those were the nights he’d snap on the modified unit. 

 

Setting his jaw he’d steel himself and beat Steve Rogers.

 

Every time his heart breaking a little more.

           

Each of these sessions ending with Tony holding the man tightly in his lap rocking them as he gently cleaned the bloody, battered face.

 

In turn Steve was good to his word, no longer making nightly trips to those divvy bars. Instead he would seek out Tony, come to him for his release.

           

For Tony every time he donned those gloves he was loosing a little more of his battered heart.

 

It was only a matter of time before something had to give.

 

-#-#-#-

 

Steve stared off into space blankly. Sketchbook open and forgot, the charcoal of the park he’d been drawing only half finished. His mind wasn’t on the task though it was on the man on the other side of the room currently alternating between yelling, and praising You and DUM-E as he worked through his latest project.

           

It had hit him like lightning, a shock to his heart. Tony, his best friend, confidant, the man who had seen him at his very worst….somehow, along the way…he’d fallen in love.

           

With the realization Steve had also discovered something remarkable and amazing; he was feeling. It wasn’t the same sensation that came with pain. Not that sharp, acute, ache, he was feeling something else. Hot, hungry, and demanding.

 

 It came in those moments when Tony would gather him close muttering apologies and nonsensical things. More and more Steve had been craving that second sensation.

           

It created painful emotional cycle, the need to feel…the pain an old welcome friend. Yet that hot, new hunger that followed; he was beginning to covet.

 

Steve was scared. Unsure how to pursue this new feeling he turned to the pain once more.

           

It was confusing, frustrating, leaving him feeling like an open wound; raw and bleeding.

 

“Steve, you space cadet you with me?” A dirty hand waved before his eyes.

 

“What sorry?” blue eyes blinked as he returned to the here and now. The smaller man looking ruggedly handsome in his grubby cloths, sweaty, and well worked. “I said did you want to eat something?”

 

“Eat?”

 

“Yeah thought you know maybe go out and eat…like at a place.” Tony wasn’t looking at him; he was fiddling with something on the table.

 

This was a side he wasn’t used to seeing with Tony. It was vulnerable, unsure, and very sweet.

 

Steve opened his mouth to reply when the alarm sounded.

 

Tony groaned, “Hell.”

 

-#-#-#-

 

It had been bad.

 

Beyond bad really, it had been a terrible, horrifying day. And when the Avengers have a bad day it can only mean that it was going to get worse when Fury got a hold of them.

 

The worst part though of this massive cluster fuck was that, for once it hadn’t been Tony’s fault. It was always Tony being reckless, and hotheaded. Only this time it had been Captain America’s fuck up.

           

Tony was worried. Hell he was always worried about Steve, though he tried not to make it to obvious. The fight was over, only the clean up left. Not his favorite thing but the sooner done, the sooner he could get to Steve before he did something rash.

 

Absorbed in helping the Agents bundle up the machines to take back to base and his lab, he missed Steve departing. It wasn’t until sometime later he noticed the lack of the moping big blond on scene.

 

“Wait where the hell?” He turned around faceplate flipping up.

 

“What the hell what?” Clint answered handing Bruce a coffee and glasses. The scientist once more his docile self, wrapped in a shock blanket.

 

“Where’s Cap?” he asked stonily them.

 

 “He went back to base, Fury wanted to talk to him ASAP.”

 

The curses coming over the link made Clint grin as the faceplate clacked down Iron Man stumbling in his hurry to take off.

           

Tony hadn’t thought his armour could go as fast as it did as he touched down with a staggering run on the top of HQ yanking his helmet off as he went. Metal feet clanking loudly as he rounded the hallways ignoring the agents hurrying out of his way.

 

He busted through the conference room door, panting. Both Fury and Steve turning on him in surprise. Well Fury was mildly shocked, and Steve was utterly incredulous. “It was me,” he gasped out almost doubling over.

 

Fury arched a brow, “What was you?”

 

Wheezing he waved his hand airily, “Today, it was me I-”

 

Steve cut him off, “Tony.” The tone booked no refusal.

 

“No really it was me, I wasn’t listening again, not playing well with others, blah blah,” he moved to stand beside Steve.

 

The soldier sighing heavily, “Tony…” he tried again. Fury was eyeing them speculatively eyes darting between the two.

 

“You’re willing to take the blame on this Stark?” he asked slowly.

 

 Tony met him gaze for gaze, “Yes.” He answered without hesitation,

 

“Interesting,” the Director said more to himself then the men.

 

He was silent a moment more before he turned abruptly left the room. Steve turning slowly to Tony, the billionaire refusing to look at the big man just yet.

 

Steve waited him out.

 

Swallowing thickly Tony finally turned slowly wondering just what kind of trouble he was in. A thousand and one excuses swirling around in his head as he thought that maybe he had acted a little rashly.

 

A strong hand was gripping his metal arm then dragging him out of the conference room and down the hall. Tony could have resisted in the suit but he didn’t, docilely allowing himself to be led away.

 

He opened his mouth a couple times thinking to ask a question before he snapped it closed again. Frustrated he was unable to vocalize what he wanted. 

 

Suddenly he was being pushed into a room, taking a moment to register one on the many sparing rooms on base. Frowning he spun towards Steve, the big man locking the door before moving to hit some button on the wall. Task completed he turned to Tony expression shuttered, agitated. “Tony,” he whispered, those eyes growing haunted and needy.

 

Tony knew what he was asking.

 

He looked down at his metal fists curling and uncurling before looking back up at Steve. “Please I need…I need…” he floundered large star covered chest heaving agitated.

 

Tony knew, he knew and it tore at him. Today had been a terrible day and Steve needed to feel something. Without a word he raised his arm closing the distance between them in three steps punching Steve in chest.

 

Consciously Tony dialed down the strength of his hit, with full armor and not the modified set up he could actually do some real damage, serum or not. He also tired to stay away for his face aware the bruises would be visible for at least a while, and this was not the safety of his lab

 

Tony caught him a couple more blows, the last one a lot harder then he meant. Dropping Captain America with a sharp grunt of pain.

 

“Oh shit Steve,” he dropped to his knees beside the gasping man. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” he gently brushed back blond hair, Steve hitching for breath shallowly. “Shit I need to take you up to medical.”

 

Steve reached out gripping his suited arm, “No!”  Tony paused torn, “Please no Tony.”

 

They were close now, those large blue eyes staring at him intently. Worry creasing dark brows as Tony sucked in a breath, the world seeming to slow. Seconds turned to hours, as slowly, hesitantly, inexperienced lips where suddenly crushing against Tony’s own.

 

It was intense, awkward, and too hard, but it still made his head spin. He tasted blood, the bite of metallic intense and overwhelming. They parted seconds later panting, face inches apart, sharing each other’s breath. The overwhelming silence in the room deafening, as something between them seemed to shift and change.  

 

Before either man could give voice to the hesitant questions burdening them, the banging at the locked door forced them apart. The world began to spin once more as raised voices called out to them.

 

Dazed Tony watched as Steve righted his appearance before moving slowly, painfully, towards the entrance.

 

Tony following slower, feeling completely different then he had only seconds ago. Something had changed between them, undeniable and irrevocable. 

 

Nothing was going to ever be the same.

 

-#-#-#-

 

He wasn’t working, not really. His mind was a million miles away. Wondering what the hell had happened today. Steve Rogers, Captain America, had kissed him; that much was obvious.

 

So what the hell did it mean?            

 

Tony knew they shared a bond, one that went beyond the realms of friendship into rather sticky, difficult to define territory. It was something indefinable, and…perhaps a little weird. “Urgh…” he pushed away from the desk thinking to get some coffee. Not like he was getting much work done anyway.

 

“Working hard?” Tony damn near flew out of chair,

 

“Oh my giddy aunt!” He clutched his arc, air whooshing out of his lungs.

 

Steve laughed, “That’s an old expression.”

           

Tony was still trying to calm his pounding heart, only now that his scare had passed the thumping continued for very different reasons. Steve moved closer to him, “How’s your chest?” Tony asked, glancing at the almost see through white t-shirt.

 

“Fine Tony, you worry to much,” the big man said with a half smile.

 

The genius nearly snorted, “Pot meet kettle.”

           

The blond grinning stepped closer, Tony almost wanting to back away, and he was unsure why. He held his ground the bigger man crowding his space pressing close. Tony able to smell him, freshly showered, clean, and somehow Earthy, “Was there something you needed?” he asked trying to ignore the tremble in his voice as he looked up into big blue eyes. Steve already waiting, leaning down, lips a hairs breath apart.

 

“Yes,” the soldier mumbled a scant second before he was kissing him thoroughly.

           

Tony’s knees wanted to buckle. It wasn’t as hard as earlier; this kiss was softer, not as desperate. As if Steve had all the time in the world. Callused hands fisted in the soft white material of Steve’s shirt, while big hands moved to settle on slim hips.

 

They parted, flushed, and panting staring at one another, Tony wondering idly if this was all a dream.

 

“I want you Tony…” those desperate mumbled words hit him like cold water. Tony’s blood turned to ice.

           

“No,” he said weakly laying his palms flat on the broad, warm chest before him. Those endless blue eyes were looking at him wide, pleading. Goddamn Tony nearly gave in.

 

“No,” he found his strength pushing Steve away, “No.” He had to put some distance between them crossing his arms over his chest, a feeble attempt at protection.

 

“Tony?” Steve stepped towards him and hr stepped back.

 

“No Steve…I can’t, please don’t ask this of me.” He felt so weak, as his traitorous body screamed out to give in.

 

The solider froze, “What…what is you think I’m looking for?”

 

Tony wouldn’t look at him, “The papers said, strong external physical stimuli…you’re looking to feel something.” Tony finally managed to look up Steve’s expression shuttered.

           

“You’re right,” the soft words a knife to his abused mechanical heart. It wouldn’t hurt so much if he didn’t love Steve.

 

“I am looking to feel something,” Steve’s voice was quite, deep, husky. Tony bit his lip begging the man to stop talking. “Something that only you can give Tony,” dark eyes closed please stop… “Love.” His head snapped up so quick Tony was sure he heard his neck creak.

           

A deer in headlights, he didn’t move this time as Steve approached, slowly, carefully, wrapping big arms around him. “I have asked so much of you, I really have no right to ask more. I’m sorry I…couldn’t help it somewhere along the way, I fell for you.” Tony was staring slack jawed astonishment. “I so sorry Tony.”

 

The genius finally managed to gather his scattered thoughts, “Shut up Steve.” He was mashing their mouths together hard; wrapping his arms around the man they kissed as if drowning. Tongues, teeth, clashing, Steve trailing his lips down his neck, moving big hands to caresses warm muscled skin under the worn blue t-shirt he wore.

 

Tony wished his damn conscious would leave him alone, but he couldn’t believe he was about to be the voice of reason, “Should we…ummm…slow down?”

           

Steve nipped at his collarbone, “Don’t really want to.” Tony groaned any resolve he had crumbling like dust. 

 

Why the hell was he arguing?

 

“Bedroom now,” he muttered pulling him towards the back stair to his suite. Steve grinning tossed the shorter man of his shoulder hurrying up. Not stopping until the door was closed and they were stripping. Steve out of his t-shirt and sweats in a heart beat.

 

Tony jeans bunching around his knees as he stopped staring in pure lust. Christ the man as utter perfection. Not a blemish or mark on that tawny, golden skin, everything perfectly proportioned right down to the proud member arching towards his belly button.

 

The genius suddenly felt utterly and horribly inadequate, awkward, in himself. Something he had not felt since those terrible days of puberty. Chuckling the big blond stepped forward tipping Tony onto the bed tugging his pants the rest of the way off.

 

The smaller man wishing his chest wasn’t a permeate light, highlighting everything that was wrong with his scarred form. Before he could worry himself under the covers Steve was there covering him from neck to toes kissing him thoroughly. The man from the past was defiantly getting better at kissing. 

 

Steve was having trouble believing this was happening. He was kissing Tony, and Tony was kissing back. As a matter of fact they were naked in bed kissing. His fantasies were taking life, and it was so much better then he’d imagined.

 

He shimmed lower lavishing attention on the arc, feeling Tony shake and shudder as the sensitive skin was teased.

 

The hot throbbing, press of Tony’s erection against his thigh an aching reminder that Steve wanted more. Wanted everything.

           

Moving back up Steve bit the man’s ear, “Tony I want,” he hesitated unsure how to ask. Callused fingers rubbed his back, touching every plane and muscle.

 

Steve shuddered feeling the scrape of his facial hair on his neck as Tony bit him enough to mark. “What do want Steve? Anything,”

 

Blue eyes slipped close body responding immediately to the husky promise. “I want you in me,” he barely managed, flushing as he buried his face against the metal chest.

 

Tony blinked masking his surprise. Well he hadn’t really thought Steve would be… why the hell was he even thinking about this right now? With a strength he didn’t really know he had Tony flipped them reaching for his nightstand and lube and condoms.

 

Trying to still trembling hands he opened the cap squeezing a generous portion onto his fingers, turning back the flushed, disheveled Captain America with legs spread wantonly.

           

Leaning forward he kissed already cherry lips, as he slid a finger past the tight ring of muscle. Steve tensed at the intrusion, “Relax baby…I got you…” that was all it took. The big man gave himself over to the odd feeling. Growing more intense with every finger added stretching him wide.

 

He could feel Tony shifting uncomfortable between his legs as he began to gently roll hips back against the fingers. The long digits brushing something that sent electricity shooting up his spine back bowing against the mattress. “Tony!” he panted restless, wanting more, the sensations overwhelming.

           

“Can’t wait,” Tony was disjointed reaching for a condom before a strong hand stopped him.

 

“Please no…want to feel you.” Tony shuddered tossing it aside, slicking up with quick haphazard strokes before he was pushing slowly inside that tight, wet, heat. Slowly, carefully sliding past the tight ring of muscles, burying his length deep inside the super soldier.

 

Steve was coming out of his skin, the pain had been nothing, a minor irritation. That overwhelming feeling of fullness his entire focus, the world narrowing to nothing save that feeling.

 

Then Tony moved and Steve lost his mind.

 

With a rasping cry Steve came with a sudden jolt. Fire uncoiling quickly as he was coating their bellies. Tony blinked, surprised, “Did you want me stop?” he wheezed through gritted teeth.

 

“No!” muscular legs wrapped around his hips pulling him closer. Surprised Tony pitched forward ramming further, and the blond was crying out as he was once more rising to the occasion. Tony arched a brow.

 

“Oh,” a devilish grin came over his features as he firmly gripped his hips moving in earnest.

           

He started slow Steve scrabbling at his back, blunt nails digging in. Teeth nipping sucking as the big blond withered and moaned rubbing against him eagerly. It wasn’t all that long before Steve was coming again.

 

Tony grinning paused pressing a harsh quick kiss to the blond, taking in everything from the blown pupils to the bites littering his flushed skin. Still achingly hard he pulled out from the quivering entrance, Steve whimpering at the loss. “We aren’t done yet beautiful, flip.”

           

Eagerly Steve did just that pressing back to rub against Tony begging. Leaning over the big man Tony thrust home once more. Steve all but screaming his name as the change in angle making lights burst behind his eyes. Tony nearly came right then and there; who would of thought Steve was a screamer?

           

He knew he wasn’t going to last much longer, but he was damn determined to blow Steve’s mind one more time. Reaching around he gripped the slippery member pulling as his slammed into the super soldier from behind.

 

Steve felt like a raw nerve, every minute detail and motion made him shudder and shake. When Tony gripped him, his shoulder fell forward and he was biting a pillow as he orgasmed for a third time. A horse yell ripped from his chest.

 

Dazedly he felt Tony thrust deeply into him one final time, warmth filling him. It was all too much. For the first time since the serum he was overwhelmed. The blackness claimed him.

           

Tony still holding tight to perfect hips was shocked with the big man crumpled forward. “Steve?” when he got no answer he panicked a little. Pulling out of the man, he was quickly rolling him over. “Steve? Baby? Come on love…” he tapped his face, thankful when he began to moan slowly blinking bright eyes open.

 

“Tony?”

 

Relief washed over him, shaking his head Tony leaned forward resting his forehead against the big man’s. “You ok?” he asked tenderly kissing the flush on the bridge of his nose.

 

“Yeah,” he managed still looking dazed. Shaking a dark head Tony grabbed up his discarded t-shirt cleaning them both up briskly before was gathering Steve close. Kissing a sweaty temple, waiting patenting until the big man got his feet under him so to speak.

 

Tony had begun to doze when Steve finally spoke form the vicinity of his chest, “Tony…I felt, it was overwhelming,”

 

The genius froze, “More so then the pain?” he asked gently.

 

Steve nodded. “Very much so,” Tony exhaled lowly, leaning over to kiss his head, “That’s a good thing, now sleep.” Steve hummed his agreement snuggling closer.

 

-#-#-#-

 

“Tony,” he knew that look. The wild eyes, the desperation. He froze hands full of robot pieces he’d been collecting.

 

A bedraggled Captain America was giving him a look that meant all sorts of fantastic things. He stepped closer, separated only by the junk he clutched absently. “Please?” Steve murmured lips twisting. Tony groaned dropping the space junk, grabbing the Cap around the waist.

 

“Send it to the lab, Cap and I need to debrief,” he growled pulling him close.

           

Big arms wrapped around Iron Man tightly. Steve already begging to feel that intense heat spread through him.

 

It was wonderful to share his secret with another.

 

End.     
 

                 

 


End file.
